


Help Me If You Hear Me

by Queen_Martia



Series: Camileda AU [7]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Death in Childbirth, Implied/Referenced Death of a Child, brief mention of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:22:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27050368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Martia/pseuds/Queen_Martia
Summary: Camila has a rough day at work. Eda comes to her aid.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne/Camilia Noceda
Series: Camileda AU [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1908874
Comments: 24
Kudos: 243





	Help Me If You Hear Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Berlynn_Prime0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Berlynn_Prime0/gifts).



> WARNING: There is non-graphic death of children mentioned at around the two-thirds mark, and is the reason Camila is so upset in the first place. While it is not in detail, it may be distressing and triggering to certain audiences. Reader discretion is advised. If you wish to read everything but that, it starts with Eda saying "But tell it anyway" and ends with Camila saying "I know that."  
> (Sidenote: Apparently her name is Camila, not Camilia. So now I'm gonna have to go back and edit all of that out. Whoops.)

Camila trudged inside, her mind swirling with the events earlier that day. She fiddled with her keys, running the meat of her finger along the ridges until it hurt.

With a sigh, she pulled out a slice of frozen pizza, tossed it in the toaster oven, and set it to cook for five minutes. Her phone buzzed softly, and she dragged it out of her purse.

From: Lulu

Hey Mami!!! Guess what I did today!

Normally Camila would proceed with cautious optimism, but today she was just too out of it to honestly care. She typed out a response in an attempt to be a good mother.

To: Lulu

I don't know, Mija. What did you do?

She'd already downed three cups of coffee today, but she started up the pot for another. The thought of sleeping tonight, of seeing her-

She slammed her hand down on the counter, the pain jolting up her arm and pulling her out of her thoughts. She felt a tightening in her throat and took a deep breath in an attempt to steady herself. She wouldn't- she couldn't think about today. If she did, she'd end up breaking down, and she refused to let herself be affected like that.

From: Lulu

I made friends with Amity!

At least I think I did?

Camila sighed and typed out a response.

To: Lulu

That's great, Mija!

Luz was silent for a moment, so Camila poured herself a cup and took deep gulps, feeling the coffee burn her tongue and throat on the way down. Her hands shook with either exhaustion or caffeine, most likely from a mix of both.

As the toaster oven chimed to tell her that her pizza was ready, her phone buzzed again, but she pushed it away in favor of getting her meal on a plate. She chewed on fake bread and fake cheese, groaning when her phone began ringing. She swallowed what was in her mouth and swiped to answer with greasy fingers. "Hey, cariño."

"Hey, Mama. Is everything alright?"

Damnit. Luz could always tell when she'd had a bad day. She dug her nails into the meat of her palm, opening up the cut from a week ago. "Why do you ask?"

"It's just- you only text like this when you're upset. Did I make you upset?"

"No, sweetie, it's just." She sighed, trying to find the words. "Something happened today at work."

"... oh. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Camila stressed. "Tell me about your day, please. Please."

And so Luz rambled about her day at the library. She told Camila about the Blight twins, how she'd been distracted by their pretty faces and prettier words. Luz continued to gush about Amity reading to the children and how they'd bonded over their love of Azura. She was yawning by the time she finished, and Camila could almost see her rub her eyes. "So, yeah. That's all of it." She paused for a moment. "Are you going to be okay on your own?"

Camila sighed, running a hand over her face. Her throat tightened for a moment, but she swallowed around it. "Eventually? I'll be okay. I promise."

"Okay, Mami. I love you."

As soon as her daughter hung up, Camila put her head in her hands, trying to tell herself not to cry. The longer she kept her eyes closed, the more the image haunted her, lingering behind her eyelids.

She took a deep breath and stood up. She shoved the rest of the pizza in her mouth and dropped the plate in the sink- she'd get to it later. She needed a shower or to sleep. Probably both.

She trodded upstairs, pushing into her room. Her feet were still aching, but she ignored it for a minute and instead pulled out her phone and began scrolling through social media. Her neck burned as the minute turned to half an hour, an attempt to drown out the noise in her head.

She startled as there was a loud and forceful knocking at the door. She groaned and got up, stretching until her back cracked. "I'm coming. I'm coming, shut up."

She opened the door and blinked at Eda, who was standing outside in the summer night. The witch gave a sheepish smile. "Luz wouldn't let up until I came to check on you."

Camila sighed. "Do you want to come inside?"

Eda followed after her, plopping down on the couch. "So, what's cooking, good looking?"

Camila shrugged. "Nothing. Didn't have the energy for cooking."

"It's an expression--"

"I know," Camila cut off, a bit of irritation to her voice. She took a breath. "Sorry, I'm just... stressed right now."

"It's alright." Eda reached out to take her hand in her own. "I babysat some kids today, so that was something."

The mention of children made the image resurface in Camila's mind, and she gritted her teeth.

"I don't know how you did it, but I have a lot more respect for you raising Luz," Eda stated. "I had to take care of some babies for one day, and by the end of it, I was about ready to pull my hair out."

Camila swallowed around the tightness in her throat. "Eda, please go home. I don't want to see anyone after the day I've had."

"It can't be that bad," Eda said lackadaisically. "I mean, what, did someone die?"

Camila felt a cold shiver go down her spine. "Eda--" she managed to get out, her voice sounding cracked as her vision blurred.

"Oh shit." Eda swallowed. "Uh, I'm sorry--"

Camila couldn't help it, a choked sob escaping her throat. Fat tears rolled down her cheeks as she crumpled, her body trembling as she sobbed into her hands. Eda stilled for a moment, only pulling her arms around Camila after a breath of hesitation. Camila clung to Eda for support, trying to catch her breath as she cried into Eda's dress. All at once, the weight of everything came crashing down around her. It was like she was still there, taking it all in- the blood, the screaming, the cold sound of the heart monitor going flat.

She didn't know how long she kneeled on the carpet, sobbing into Eda's arms and certainly ruining her dress. Apparently, after some time, it was enough for Eda to get irritated. "Alright, c'mon, you're gonna break your knees if you stay like this." With surprising strength, she hauled Camila to her feet, pulling her to the couch. Camila tried to pull away, to hide her face, but Eda growled in frustration. "Hey, no, stop that. I know I'm bad at it, but I can at least try to help you."

That just brought on another wave of tears. Camila clung to Eda as the witch ran cautious fingers through her hair, giving her a gentle squeeze every few minutes.

After too long, Camila could finally breathe without another wave of salt running down her face. She sat up a little, Eda following her. "What happened today?" Eda asked, brushing away a few tears from her eyes.

Camila took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. "It's not a happy story," she told Eda, her voice turning into a laugh- because if she didn't laugh, she would just end up crying again.

"Obviously," Eda said. "But tell it anyway."

Camila took a deep breath. "There was... a girl. She couldn't be older than sixteen- still had her braces in and everything. But she was six months pregnant."

Eda sucked in a breath through her teeth, but Camila went on. "Her parents said she was planning to give the baby up for adoption. Something went wrong, though, and she went into labor prematurely. The baby," and here she paused, swallowing around the bile in her mouth, "something went wrong, and we could either save the girl or the baby."

Eda was silent. After a moment, she spoke. "Well, which did you save?"

Camila laughed bitterly. "That's the irony, isn't it? Her parents asked us to save the girl, the girl asked us to save her baby, and in the end, we couldn't save either- she waited too long to come to the hospital. The reason she went into labor early was that the baby was stillborn." She stared at her hands, and even hours after, the smell of blood was choking, suffocating. "What's the point of having all this training if I couldn't save her?"

"Hey, no, Cam." Eda took her face in her hands. "This isn't your fault. You did everything you could. Sometimes things go wrong."

"... isn't it, though?"

"Isn't what?"

"Isn't this my fault? If I had just acted sooner, we could have saved her. I knew- I knew something was wrong. I should have said something. I should have done something. Instead, I let her die while under my care--"

"You didn't 'let' her die," Eda insisted. "You can't account for everything that could happen- no one can."

"But--"

"Cam, you can't keep dwelling on what could have been. You tried to save someone today, and even if things went wrong, no one could fault you for doing your damnedest to keep her alive." Eda looked away, her eyes clouding with memory. "Believe me; I know what it's like to blame yourself for 'would, could, should.' But it's in the past now, and all you can do is look forward and do better."

Camila pressed her head against Eda's shoulder. "I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier."

Eda nodded, running her fingers through Camila's hair. "Is there anything I could do to help?"

Camila sighed. "I mean, I need to wash my hair, but I don't have the energy for it. Honestly, I don't have the energy to do much more than sleep right now."

Eda made a circle in the air, and Camila felt the gunk and oil of the day pull away from her scalp and hair. The detritus stripped away from the follicles and disappeared with a 'pop'. "There," Eda said. "It's not the same as washing it with shampoo and water, but it'll keep your hair clean."

That small act of kindness was enough to bring on another round of tears in her, prompting a soft sigh from Eda. "I'll be right back," the witch told her, popping into the kitchen and returning with a glass of ice water. "Here. Drink."

Camila took small sips from the glass, unable to stop a little smile from creeping onto her face as Eda repeated what Camila had done for her before. "You learned," she mumbled.

Eda shrugged. "As far as I'm concerned, you never stop learning." She took the now empty-glass from Camila and put it aside. "C'mon- you look exhausted. Bedtime."

Camila let Eda lead her to bed, yawning tiredly as the witch helped her pull off her shoes and socks. "I'm not a child," she protested lightly.

"Never said you were." Eda kissed her palm gently, an unreadable look in her eyes. "But I'm allowed to care about you."

She tucked Camila in, pressing another kiss to her temple. "Get some sleep, okay? Tomorrow might be worse, but it could be a hell of a lot better, too. You won't know unless you try."

Camila let her eyes flutter shut and her mind drift off into dreamless sleep.


End file.
